Reprogram your mind with exec coaching | Summary and Q&A

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May 13, 2020
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Garry Tan
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Reprogram your mind with exec coaching

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Summary

In this video, Garry Tan sits down with Cameron Yarbrough, his former executive coach and founder of Torch.io. They discuss the impact of trauma on startup founders, the importance of self-work and coaching, and the challenges faced by leaders during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Questions & Answers

Q: Can you program your own mind?

Yes, it is possible to program your own mind through self-work, therapy, coaching, and mindfulness practices. By understanding and addressing your past traumas and behaviors, you can make meaningful changes to improve your life and relationships.

Q: How does trauma impact startup founders?

Many startup founders come from tumultuous family environments and have experienced trauma in their pasts. This can create a unique drive and motivation to succeed in the startup world. Trauma can also lead to repetition compulsion, where individuals unconsciously seek out intense and severe environments, like startups, as a way to recreate and heal their past experiences.

Q: How can trauma be both a hindrance and an opportunity for founders?

Trauma can overwhelm founders who have not dealt with difficult experiences before, leading to instant failure. However, trauma can also provide the strength and resilience necessary for success. Founders from traumatic backgrounds are uniquely positioned to excel in the startup environment, as it allows them to both repeat and heal their pasts.

Q: How can therapy and coaching help founders understand and address their past traumas?

Therapy and coaching provide a safe space for founders to explore their past traumas and how they impact their mindset and behaviors. By gaining insight into their family dynamics and unconscious patterns, founders can work towards healing and creating healthier relationships.

Q: How can self-work and coaching benefit founders at a young age?

Startups can be a proxy environment for founders to recreate and heal their past traumas. By engaging in self-work, therapy, and coaching at a young age, founders can skip the mistakes and challenges they would have otherwise faced later in their careers. They can cultivate healthier behaviors and bring their full potential to fruition.

Q: When did Cameron start his own deep work?

Cameron began his deep work journey after a difficult relationship with his co-founder in a previous startup. The conflict and aggression he experienced stemmed from his unprocessed anger and trauma. After selling the company, he invested in therapy, meditation, and deep workshops to dive into his psychology and make lasting changes.

Q: How did Cameron's deep work impact his leadership and personal life?

Cameron's deep work allowed him to become a better leader and co-founder by understanding and addressing his family origin dynamics. It helped him become more aware of his reactions to conflict and make better decisions. Ultimately, it enabled him to be a more present father and the person he aspired to be.

Q: How does self-work help founders make better decisions and overcome automatic responses?

Self-work involves understanding one's own automatic responses and triggers. By being aware of these patterns, founders can catch themselves in the moment and consciously choose different paths. Coaching and therapy provide the support and guidance needed to unpack and change deep-seated behaviors.

Q: How does neurobiology impact behavior change?

The saying "neurons that fire together wire together" explains the difficulty of changing behaviors. It requires physically rewiring the brain's neural connections, which is challenging because the brain dedicates bandwidth to old behaviors. Changing behaviors involves practicing new patterns and breaking the automatic responses, which can be physically demanding but ultimately rewarding.

Q: How does coaching complement self-work and therapy?

Coaching provides a trusted and empathic relationship for founders to explore and navigate their challenges. Coaches offer different perspectives and ask thought-provoking questions, allowing founders to discover insights and make informed decisions. While friends and colleagues are supportive, having a coach who specializes in psychology and leadership can provide unique guidance and support.

Q: How can empathy, transparency, and gratitude help leaders during challenging times like COVID-19?

Leaders should focus on galvanizing their teams, investing in mental health, improving communication, and being transparent. Building trust through empathy is crucial, as it prevents teams from losing faith in leadership. Expressing gratitude can also strengthen team bonds and create a positive and resilient work culture.

Q: What are the benefits of group coaching and T-group sessions?

Group coaching and T-group sessions offer a structured environment for leaders to discuss and work through their leadership challenges. It provides an opportunity for deep and meaningful conversations with peers, allowing for shared experiences and insights. Group work complements individual coaching and therapy by providing a different dynamic and perspective.

Takeaways

Engaging in self-work, therapy, coaching, and mindfulness practices can help founders address their past traumas, understand their automatic responses, and make meaningful changes in their lives and relationships. Trauma can both hinder and provide strength to founders, and the startup environment can act as a proxy for healing past experiences. Building trust, empathy, and transparency as a leader during challenging times like COVID-19 is crucial. Group coaching and T-group sessions offer a powerful opportunity for leaders to address their leadership challenges in a structured and supportive environment.

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