Mel Robbins ON: Why You Can’t Stop Procrastinating & How to Eliminate Self-Doubt in 5 Seconds | Summary and Q&A

TL;DR

Mel Robbins introduces the High Five Habit, a simple practice that involves looking in the mirror, setting an intention for the day, and giving yourself a high five, to build self-acceptance and love.

Key Insights

• 🎙️ The High Five Habit: Mel Robbins introduces her new book, "The High Five Habit," which focuses on taking control of your life and practicing self-love and acceptance. The habit involves looking at yourself in the mirror, setting intentions, and raising your hand to high-five yourself.
• 👥 Mel Robbins: Mel Robbins is a leading voice in personal development and transformation, known for her previous book "The 5 Second Rule" and her work in helping people change their thoughts and actions.
• 📚 The Power of Habit: Mel Robbins explains how the High Five Habit is a powerful tool that can help reprogram your brain, interrupt negative thought patterns, and build self-confidence and self-worth. By practicing the habit consistently, you can override the self-critic and develop a more supportive and positive mindset.
• 💪 Overcoming Resistance: Mel Robbins acknowledges that the High Five Habit may feel weird or uncomfortable at first, and that resistance is common. However, by persistently practicing the habit for just five days, you can start to see a positive shift in your mindset and self-perception.
• 💡 Neuroplasticity: The High Five Habit leverages neuroplasticity, the brain's ability to change and form new neural pathways. By connecting the physical action of high-fiving yourself with positive thoughts and intentions, you can rewire your brain to be more supportive and encouraging.
• 🏅 Celebrate Small Wins: Mel Robbins emphasizes the importance of celebrating even the smallest achievements and moments of progress. By acknowledging your efforts and giving yourself a high five, you build trust and confidence in yourself, which can lead to further growth and success.
• 👨 Relationship Lessons: Mel Robbins shares personal insights from her marriage and the importance of staying kind, interested, and engaged with your partner. Learning from each other and maintaining open communication can strengthen the relationship and support personal growth.
• 🙌 Love and Acceptance: The High Five Habit teaches the importance of self-love and acceptance, regardless of external achievements or societal expectations. By looking in the mirror and celebrating your existence, you are cultivating a deep sense of worthiness and compassion for yourself. ⏰ Simple Discipline: Mel Robbins advocates for simple disciplines like setting realistic goals, keeping promises to yourself, and being kind to yourself. By consistently practicing these habits, you can build trust, develop resilience, and create a positive foundation for personal growth.

Transcript

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Questions & Answers

Q: How does the High Five Habit help build self-acceptance and love?

The High Five Habit helps build self-acceptance and love by interrupting self-criticism and negative thought patterns, activating the brain's reward system, and creating new neural pathways associated with support and celebration. When we consistently engage in the practice, we begin to see ourselves as deserving of love and support, leading to a transformation in how we perceive ourselves.

Q: What is the role of neuroscience in the High Five Habit?

The High Five Habit leverages neuroscience by incorporating neurobics, which involves using unexpected physical movements (like high-fiving oneself) paired with positive thoughts. This activates the brain's reward system and creates new neural pathways, reinforcing self-supportive beliefs and behaviors. The habit also activates the nervous system, boosting energy and mood.

Q: How does the High Five Habit build trust with oneself?

The High Five Habit builds trust with oneself by encouraging the practice of keeping small promises and acts of self-kindness. By committing to simple actions like getting out of bed when the alarm goes off or making the bed, we signal to ourselves that we can trust our own words and intentions. This builds confidence and self-reliance.

Q: Can the High Five Habit help people overcome self-criticism and negative self-perception?

Yes, the High Five Habit is designed to interrupt self-criticism and transform negative self-perception into self-acceptance and love. By consistently engaging in the practice, individuals can reprogram their minds to associate positivity and support with their own reflection. The habit helps individuals see themselves as deserving of love and support, impacting their overall self-perception and mental well-being.

Q: How does the High Five Habit help in facing challenges and setbacks?

The High Five Habit helps in facing challenges and setbacks by building resilience and a supportive mindset. It encourages individuals to approach themselves and their obstacles with kindness, support, and celebration rather than criticism. By consistently practicing self-acceptance and self-love, individuals develop a stronger belief in their ability to navigate adversity and make positive changes in their lives.

Q: Can the High Five Habit be incorporated into morning routines?

Yes, the High Five Habit is designed to be incorporated into morning routines. It can be practiced right after brushing teeth and serves as a positive way to start the day. By setting an intention and high-fiving oneself in the mirror, individuals can create a foundation of self-kindness and support for the day ahead.

Summary

In this interview, Mel Robbins discusses her new book, "The High Five Habit," with host Jay Shetty. She explains that the high five habit is a simple practice that can transform how we see ourselves and how we navigate our lives. By high-fiving ourselves in the mirror every morning, we can override negative self-talk, reprogram our minds for positivity, and build a stronger relationship with ourselves. Mel also highlights the scientific basis behind the high five habit and shares the key principles of self-love and self-care.

Questions & Answers

Q: How does the high five habit help us see ourselves more clearly?

The high five habit involves looking at ourselves in the mirror and raising our hand to give ourselves a high-five. This simple action helps us wipe away the metaphorical dust on the mirror, which represents the external influences that obscure our true selves. By high-fiving ourselves, we can see beyond the accumulated dust and start seeing ourselves as deserving of love and respect.

Q: How did the high five habit impact Mel Robbins personally?

Mel started practicing the high five habit in April 2020, during a time when she felt defeated, overwhelmed, and exhausted. The habit served as a ladder that helped her climb out of an emotional and spiritual hole. Over time, it changed her mindset and transformed how she saw herself. She no longer criticizes herself or focuses on what's wrong; instead, she sees a human being who is trying and deserves love and support.

Q: How does the high five habit differ from traditional positive affirmations?

Traditional positive affirmations may not work for many people because they often involve choosing something you don't believe. When you stand in front of the mirror and say positive affirmations after a lifetime of self-criticism, your brain may resist and reject those statements. The high five habit, on the other hand, leverages the existing programming in your mind and body associated with high-fiving others. By high-fiving yourself, you activate feelings of connectedness, support, and celebration, which lead to a positive shift in your mindset.

Q: How does the high five habit impact our brain and nervous system?

The high five habit influences our brain through neurobics, a field of study that combines physical movement with the development of new neural pathways. Raising your hand and high-fiving yourself is a new and unexpected physical movement that activates existing neural programming associated with high-fives. This leads to the release of dopamine, which boosts mood, and also triggers the nervous system to provide a jolt of energy. The combination of these effects creates a profound impact on how we see and support ourselves.

Q: How does the high five habit impact the rest of our day?

Practicing the high five habit in the morning has a knock-on effect for the rest of the day. It sets a positive trajectory and boosts productivity, confidence, and focus. Additionally, the habit influences emotional contagion, wherein our positive energy and attitude impact others. By starting our day with self-support and celebration, we change our ability to make an impact in our interactions and become more resilient in the face of challenges.

Q: What are the key principles of having a positive relationship with ourselves?

Two key principles include being kind to ourselves and keeping the promises we make to ourselves. Being kind involves stopping the beat down and resisting self-criticism. We can interrupt negative self-talk using the five-second rule and create distance from the voices that hold us back. Keeping promises to ourselves can be practiced by setting intentional wake-up times, using odd numbers to make it more intentional, and honoring our commitment to get out of bed at the designated time. By being kind and keeping promises, we build self-love and self-trust.

Q: How can we overcome resistance and break the cycle of self-criticism?

Overcoming resistance and breaking the cycle of self-criticism involves recognizing that resistance is like the dust on the mirror. It is the accumulation of past experiences, trauma, or negative beliefs that stand between us and self-love. By acknowledging this resistance and committing to the high five habit for at least five days, we can gradually wipe away the dust and reprogram our minds to see ourselves as deserving of support and celebration.

Q: How does the high five habit relate to behavioral activation therapy?

The high five habit aligns with principles of behavioral activation therapy, wherein we act like the person we want to become. By high-fiving ourselves, we are taking the action of celebration and support that changes our behavior and mindset. Over time, our brain recognizes this change and adjusts our reality to reflect self-love and resilience. The high five habit goes beyond positive thinking and actually helps us take actions that transform our lives.

Q: What is the impact of the high five habit on our relationships with others?

The high five habit positively impacts our relationships with others through emotional contagion. When we practice self-support and celebration, it influences how we show up for others. It creates a ripple effect where our positive attitude and energy inspire and uplift those around us. Additionally, the habit strengthens our ability to trust and partner with ourselves, which in turn improves our ability to build trust and partnership in our relationships.

Q: How does the high five habit help us deal with pain and discomfort?

The high five habit doesn't change the presence of pain and discomfort in our lives, but it changes how we approach and navigate through them. It allows us to face these challenges with self-support and self-belief instead of self-condemnation. The high five habit helps us choose thoughts and attitudes that empower us and motivate us to find solutions and make positive changes. It shifts the focus from self-criticism to self-compassion and resilience.

Q: How can we integrate the high five habit into our daily routines?

The high five habit can be integrated into our morning routine by doing it right after brushing our teeth. It is a simple and free practice that only takes a few seconds. By intentionally setting our wake-up time, practicing self-kindness, and high-fiving ourselves in the mirror, we can start our day on a positive note and carry that energy throughout the day. The high five habit is a daily commitment to ourselves and an expression of self-love and support.

Takeaways

The high five habit is a powerful practice that can transform how we see ourselves and navigate our lives. By high-fiving ourselves in the mirror, we can override negative self-talk, reprogram our minds for positivity, and build a stronger relationship with ourselves. The habit is based on existing neural programming associated with high-fives, and it activates feelings of support, celebration, and connectedness. Practicing the high five habit in the morning sets a positive trajectory for the rest of the day, boosts productivity and confidence, and positively influences our relationships with others. Being kind to ourselves and keeping promises to ourselves are key principles of self-love and self-care. The high five habit helps us choose positive thoughts and attitudes in the face of pain and discomfort, and it integrates seamlessly into our daily routines. By committing to the high five habit, we can create a lasting impact on our lives and well-being.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• Mel Robbins introduces the High Five Habit, a practice that involves looking in the mirror, setting an intention for the day, and giving yourself a high five.

• The High Five Habit helps to wipe away self-criticism and build self-acceptance and love.

• The habit leverages the power of neurobics, interrupting negative thought patterns, and activating dopamine release and celebratory energy.

• By building trust with ourselves through small promises and acts of kindness, we can transform our relationship with ourselves and approach challenges with resilience and self-support.