Dealing with Negative Comments | AMA #3 - Ask Me Anything with Lex Fridman | Summary and Q&A

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February 28, 2020
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Lex Fridman
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Dealing with Negative Comments | AMA #3 - Ask Me Anything with Lex Fridman

TL;DR

The speaker discusses their strategy for handling comments, criticism, and negative feedback on the internet, emphasizing the importance of respect and love in disagreement.

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Key Insights

  • 🌍 Openness and Criticism: Navigating comments, criticism, and negative feedback is a complex process on the internet. Views on handling it vary, with some advocating for not reading comments, while others believe in learning from conversations and surrounding oneself with kind and thoughtful individuals.
  • 🗣️ Artful Disagreement: Disagreement is viewed as an art that requires care, skill, compassion, and respect. The goal is to engage in passionate disagreement that respects the other person's significance and values their opinion, moving away from disrespectful or dismissive forms of disagreement.
  • 🙌 Promoting Respectful Discourse: Building a community that values respectful and loving disagreement is key. Humor, wit, and fostering an underlying respect and appreciation for one another's perspectives can lead to beautiful and profound conversations, as seen in heated debates and conversations in person.
  • 😊 Positive Feedback and Learning: The speaker feels fortunate to have received positive feedback and engaging conversations. They approach criticism with an open mind, seeking insights and lessons to learn and improve. They believe it's important to let ideas shine and focus on the underlying respect and love in interactions.
  • ✨ Optimism & Forgiveness: The speaker remains optimistic that most rough interactions on the internet could lead to positive connections in person. They practice forgiveness and view criticism as an opportunity to learn. They try to find insights, forgive the roughness, and imagine meeting critics in person to establish mutual respect and understanding.
  • 💪 Growth Mindset: The speaker embraces criticism as a means of personal growth and learning. They reflect on criticisms, acknowledge where they can improve, and approach conversations with humility. They understand that criticism may sting but ultimately help them become better.
  • 🌐 Online vs. In-Person Interactions: While the speaker believes in the potential for positive and respectful conversations in person, they acknowledge the limitations of social media for finding mutual respect and understanding. Blocking, muting, or limiting interactions may be necessary in cases of disrespect.
  • 👥 Community and Evolution: The speaker's approach to feedback and criticism may evolve over time. They express gratitude for the positive feedback and interesting conversations they have had so far and appreciate being part of the community. They remain open to evolving in their response to criticism in order to continue learning and growing.

Transcript

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Questions & Answers

Q: How does the speaker handle criticism and negative feedback on the internet?

The speaker approaches criticism as an opportunity for growth and learning. They observe the criticism, take a step outside themselves, and try to find the underlying lesson or insight in the feedback. They also practice forgiveness and send love to those who criticize them, imagining a positive interaction in person. If there is a lack of respect, they may block or mute the person on social media.

Summary & Key Takeaways

  • The speaker discusses different models for handling comments and criticism on the internet, mentioning the Joe Rogan model of not reading comments and their own approach of learning from conversations.

  • They express a preference for disagreement that is rooted in respect and love, as opposed to mockery or dismissal.

  • The speaker talks about the value of heated debates in person and the importance of respectful disagreement.

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