Gabrielle Union ON: Vulnerability & Turning Your Weakness Into Your Superpower | Summary and Q&A

Transcript

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Summary

In this episode, Jay Shetty interviews actress, executive producer, activist, and best-selling author, Gabrielle Union. They discuss topics such as vulnerability, reproductive health, marriage, parenting, and embracing strength through embracing femininity. Gabrielle shares her personal experiences and lessons learned in a raw and honest manner.

Questions & Answers

Q: Can you share the transition you experienced when the question changed from "When are you going to have kids?" to "Why don't you get a surrogate?"

Gabrielle talks about the pressure and entitlement people feel when it comes to women's reproductive health. She shares her personal journey of struggling to have children and the societal expectation of women to have kids. She delves into her feelings of unworthiness and the pain associated with constant questions about having children. She also discusses the pressure she put on herself and the impact it had on her self-esteem.

Q: Can you talk about your decision to pursue surrogacy?

Gabrielle recounts her journey of multiple IVF cycles and constant miscarriages. She shares the moment she met Dr. Kelly Beck, a fertility specialist who provided her with options for overcoming her infertility. Gabrielle discusses her initial resistance to surrogacy and her fear of failure and public humiliation. Eventually, she embraced surrogacy and shares the experiences and challenges that came with it.

Q: How do you handle the pressure and inquiries about having children from others?

Gabrielle explains the societal expectation placed on women to have children and the assumptions made about those who do not. She shares her experiences of feeling judged and the pain associated with people not understanding her personal circumstances. Gabrielle emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries, being transparent, and learning to communicate one's needs effectively.

Q: You mentioned in your book cutting your hair symbolizing embracing change and doing things for yourself. Can you talk about the changes or shifts that have occurred since then?

Gabrielle reflects on the changes that have occurred since the birth of her daughter and the impact of becoming a mother. She discusses the vulnerability and cluelessness she felt in her new role and the need for therapy to navigate the challenges. Gabrielle also talks about the shift that occurred due to the pandemic, with both her and her husband working from home and having to learn each other's parenting styles and ways of coping.

Q: What have you learned about Dwayne and yourself during this time?

Gabrielle shares the importance of open communication and managing expectations in a relationship. She emphasizes the need to communicate one's needs and learn to support each other. Gabrielle talks about the challenges she faced in understanding her husband's parenting style and the adjustment required when both partners are working from home. She highlights the importance of extending grace to oneself and others.

Q: How do you navigate conversations with your partner to create a healthier space of collaboration?

Gabrielle emphasizes the importance of leading with love and open communication in conversations with one's partner. She shares her experience of learning to express her needs and manage expectations. Gabrielle suggests using statements like "I love you, but that hurt me" to initiate discussions about navigating challenges together. She emphasizes the importance of finding a middle ground and working together as a team.

Q: Can you explain the concept of "shady baby" and how it represents a superpower?

Gabrielle explains the concept of "shady baby" from her children's book. She talks about how kids use body language to communicate when they lack the vocabulary to express themselves. Gabrielle emphasizes the importance of recognizing shade as a form of communication rather than viewing it negatively. The book aims to give children agency and empower them to express their likes and dislikes in their unique way.

Q: How do you view your past experiences, such as your rape, as you look back on them now?

Gabrielle reflects on her past experiences and the journey from victim to survivor. She discusses the impact of watching the Olympics and seeing Black excellence as a lifeline during a difficult time in her life. Gabrielle emphasizes the importance of acknowledging the in-between stage and the steps required to move from victimhood to survivorship. She highlights the significance of sharing the painful parts of the journey and not skipping over them.

Q: How have you embraced vulnerability and your femininity as strengths?

Gabrielle shares her initial resistance to vulnerability and how she viewed it as weakness. She talks about seeking different ways, such as therapy and shamanic healing, to confront her beliefs. Gabrielle discusses the idea that vulnerability and embracing femininity can be sources of strength. She shares her journey of practicing vulnerability and allowing herself to be seen, leading to better understanding and communication with others.

Q: What advice would you give to someone who struggles with vulnerability?

Gabrielle encourages individuals to lead with love and open communication. She emphasizes the importance of embracing vulnerability and allowing oneself to be seen. Gabrielle suggests learning to use words to express emotions and encourages individuals to be okay with not always being okay. She highlights the power of vulnerability in fostering understanding and connection with others.

Q: How do you balance strength and vulnerability in your personal and professional life?

Gabrielle discusses the balance between strength and vulnerability, particularly in her personal and professional life. She emphasizes the importance of embracing vulnerability as a way to connect with others and navigate challenges. Gabrielle shares that strength comes from being authentic and true to oneself, even in the face of adversity. She encourages individuals to find their own balance and embrace both aspects as part of their journey.

Takeaways

Gabrielle Union's interview with Jay Shetty delves into personal experiences, challenges, and growth. The conversation revolves around various topics, including vulnerability, reproductive health, marriage, parenting, and embracing femininity. Gabrielle shares her journey of learning to navigate societal pressure, finding strength in vulnerability, and embracing her femininity as a superpower. The key takeaway is the importance of open communication, setting boundaries, and practicing self-awareness in order to cultivate healthy relationships and personal growth. Gabrielle reminds listeners to embrace their unique journey and support one another in their pursuit of success and happiness.